Bad News
The nurse probably didn't realize it but she was the one who delivered the bad news. It was minutes after the colonoscopy and I was just moved into the recovery area. She told me that when I was up and dressed that I would be meeting the doctor along with my wife Jackie. The plan before was that Jackie was going to be in the waiting room until after the exam. Not anymore. She was going in with me to talk to the doctor and at that moment I knew what the doctor was going to tell us.
He showed us the photos of the colonoscopy and told us that it did not look good. He believed he found cancer in my colon and that I would need to have surgery soon. He collected a sample for the lab so that a biopsy could be done. I asked if the surgery would still be necessary if the biopsy was negative and he replied that it would not come back negative. He was sure.
Had I not already confronted the idea that I might have colon cancer it would have been very difficult to keep my composure. A week earlier I was reading about digestive disorders on the Internet because of some unusual symptoms I was experiencing and I noticed that I had practically every symptom listed for colon cancer. I normally don't freak out about health concerns, but I did this time. I believe it was the fatigue that gave me a sense that something was wrong. It was not a normal fatigue like when you are sleepy or after you have physically exerted yourself. It was kind of like a faint, light-headed fatigue that made me lose my concentration and focus. I knew it was connected with the discomfort I was feeling in my stomach.
It was at this time that I faced the idea that I might have cancer. I played the scenario in my head and let it consume me. Jackie assured me that cancer was very unlikely, but I still tossed and turned all night thinking about it.
So when the doctor confirmed this concern I was more numb than panicked. The doctor ordered a CT-scan in order to help identify the extent of the cancer and urged me to see a colon surgeon as soon as possible.
He showed us the photos of the colonoscopy and told us that it did not look good. He believed he found cancer in my colon and that I would need to have surgery soon. He collected a sample for the lab so that a biopsy could be done. I asked if the surgery would still be necessary if the biopsy was negative and he replied that it would not come back negative. He was sure.Had I not already confronted the idea that I might have colon cancer it would have been very difficult to keep my composure. A week earlier I was reading about digestive disorders on the Internet because of some unusual symptoms I was experiencing and I noticed that I had practically every symptom listed for colon cancer. I normally don't freak out about health concerns, but I did this time. I believe it was the fatigue that gave me a sense that something was wrong. It was not a normal fatigue like when you are sleepy or after you have physically exerted yourself. It was kind of like a faint, light-headed fatigue that made me lose my concentration and focus. I knew it was connected with the discomfort I was feeling in my stomach.
It was at this time that I faced the idea that I might have cancer. I played the scenario in my head and let it consume me. Jackie assured me that cancer was very unlikely, but I still tossed and turned all night thinking about it.
So when the doctor confirmed this concern I was more numb than panicked. The doctor ordered a CT-scan in order to help identify the extent of the cancer and urged me to see a colon surgeon as soon as possible.
posted by Andy Tofel @ 3:36 PM
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